Living the Misadventure

Hi, my Name is Lyin' Brian. No, that's not my real name but it's close enough, for now. When I get going under full steam after several shots of my bathtub gin, viewers will soon know who I really am. And I'll show my picture.

First, I'm an Englishman, semi-retired, living in the Dominican Republic. To make ends meet, I'm into making various alcoholic concoctions that are aged by a secret process on the conveyor belt from the distilling vat to the bottling shed. These, I sell to discriminating ex-pats and native Dominicans with discerning palates (not including lawyers who don't speak good English and can't keep their hands out of my pockets).

Fidel, the Imposter

Now, you must be wondering why I bother. Well, a certain cretin who calls itself Fidel Mendoza has been sending scurrilous e-mails about me to names it stole out of my address book. This was after I had written an e-mail to several people in my address book with a balanced and detailed list of the defects of my wife who I said I was going to divorce because she was peeing all over the house and never had my meals cooked on time. Furthermore, I threatened to throw her out of the house even though she claims to own it!

Following this letter, I proved what a sodden drunk she is by publishing a picture of her passed out at mid-day on our bedroom floor. Now, wasn't that a reasonable thing to do after all the stress she had put me under and, what's more, had refused to sign over her father's inheritance to me??????????????

Well, Fidel seemed to think they were entitled to make nasty comments about me in an email to the same people whose addresses they stole. Could you believe that anybody could be that vicious!!!!!!! Well, I'll have the last laugh. What Fidel, the idiot, doesn't know is that with the help of Police I put tracing software into my computer and now I know everything about them (yes they're several people) including their hat size, their nationality, where they live, the color and make of their car, and even to how tall (or short) they are. In my next post, I'll reveal their identities. Meanwhile, they should tremble while awaiting a knock on their door - it may be the Police coming to take them away. Ha Ha.

avocadolying@yahoo.com

Ducado Del Pantherpiss

Drink responsibly

Drink only MY pantherpiss