Sorry, no picture today because I just have to get the following off my chest!!!!

I have received another scurrilous e-mail from someone who calls himself “Keith”. As with Fidel, the IMPOSTER, I have put tracing software on his letter and will soon know who this new IMPOSTER is (or are). But before I demolish his pitiful LIES with the TRUTH, let me show readers his defamatory e-mail (lies and distortions exactly as written. So much for those idiots who say that I, Super Moderator, delete posts I do not like!!!!!):

“Be aware that there is a producer of extremely dangerous home-made alcohol on the north coast of the Dominican Republic. He says that the products are scotch, whiskey, etc., but in reality he is adding dangerous flavourings to distilled alcohol and deceiving people that it is a pure product. As informed people know, such products, when genuine, result from laborious distilling procedures. This person distils the alcohol from rotten fruits and vegetables, and then adds flavourings to create his "liquors". The flavourings and the poor quality of alcohol combine to form a deadly toxic substance for the liver. He does NOT put on the bottle the ingredients of the flavourings, as they are very likely carcinogenic.

He also uses concentrated mixes to make a grape-juice type of alcoholic wine.

He is redefining the term "bath-tub gin" with all of its inherent dangers times 10.

In a land of cheap quality produced liquors, do not risk your life with these terrible products.”

MY COMMENT

Readers must be rolling in the aisles over the stupidities and lies in this new IMPOSTER’S letter!!!!! They’re obvious, but let me debunk them point-by-point:

1. My wines and liquors are distilled from quality rotting vegetables including potato skins shipped in from Halifax’s compost site in Nova Scotia, where in the early nineties, in the Halifax residential suburb of Spryfield, I was owner and driving force behind a thriving, always-in-the-news, potato chip factory called Provincial Foods. (I was eventually forced to close the noxious plant after whining neighbours complained of its foul odours stinking up the neighbourhood. Well, I did, but not before I scammed a healthy $250,000 compensation package from the idiots running Municipal Affairs in Halifax. Ha Ha!!!!!) Note: I DO NOT use road kill in any of my products although one customer in a local bistro, where my Oaken whiskey is sold, complained that it tasted like a skunk’s a******. Question: how would he know what a skunk’s a***** tastes like, unless he’s customarily on his knees like a dog smelling the behinds of a variety of animals? Anyway, that idiot, thanks to my Police Chief friend (see next item), is currently in the local lock up awaiting trial for making defamatory statements about my whiskey.

2. If my wines and liquors were dangerous, my good friend, the Police Chief of Sabaneta, would be dead by now because he drinks GALLONS of my product every week and FOR FREE!!!!. I even supplied the booze for his wedding earlier this year (at his suggestion) and NOT ONE DEATH was reported (well, maybe one or two, but that was likely because they were already high on dope or speed).

3. My wife, whom you all know I’m going to divorce as soon as I can find an honest Dominican lawyer who can speak English good, drinks my wine and whiskey all day long because she can’t get enough of the stuff!!! She likes it, and she likes it a lot!!!!! If it was poisonous, do you think she’d still be alive?

Drink responsibly
Drink only Ours
Drink Ducksplatz del Pantherpiss

Contact me at: lyinbrianwales@yahoo.com